Akatsuki in the Afterlife
by Good Boy's Uke
Summary: Basically what the title says, but you know, the afterlife isn't exactly a walk in the park, you know. Rated T for the very few bad words and Deidara's cuteness xD ...and more, just in future chapters, lol.


Chapter 1: Deidara and Sasori

Deidara runs up to Sasori.

Deidara: Hey danna, un!

Sasori: What do you want, brat?

A shuriken flies out from nowhere and hits Deidara in the face, the drug heavily affecting him, making him fall down.

Deidara: Hey…danna…everything's going….all….fuzzy….un.

Deidara passes out.

Sasori: Stupid brat.

Sasori walks away, mumbling to himself.

~Some time or other~

Deidara wakes up; blinking his eyes a couple of times to try and get them fully open.

Deidara: Where am I, un?

Sasori walks out from the woods by where Deidara's laying, and smirks.

Sasori: Hey, brat.

Deidara: Whoa! You're purple danna!

Sasori sighs, covering half his face by burying it in his hand.

Sasori: Well, I can see that the drug certainly affected you.

Deidara: drug, un?

Sasori: Who ever had thrown that shuriken at you had coated the blades with a kind of drug.

Deidara: Oh, un.

Silence falls upon the both of them for about a minute.

Deidara: Not too shabby, un.

Sasori: What's not too shabby?

Deidara: …I don't know, un. By the way, where are we, danna, un?

Sasori glances at Deidara and smiles, looking away from him.

Sasori: I'm dead, you're here, where do you think we are?

Deidara: …Oh, un. That explosion of mine better have killed that freak with the sharingan, un!

Sasori chuckles in amusement.

Deidara: I wonder how Tobi's doing with me dead, un.

~Wherever Tobi is~

Tobi laughs evilly.

Tobi: now that Deidara and Itachi are dead, I can reveal who I really am! Madara Uchiha!

(AN: If you don't know why this is, then, (1 Deidara because he is his partner and doesn't like sharingan-users, and (2 Itachi because (as said by Madara himself) if Itachi knew that, Madara would have been dead already)

~Back to Deidara~

Sasori: Here, let me fix up an antidote for that drug, first, I'll need a sample of your blood.

Sasori said, with an evil gleam in his eye as he took out a needle to remove a bit of his blood. Deidara backed up quickly, using his legs to push himself across the cold dirt.

Deidara: N-no way! You're not getting any of my blood, un! I h-hate needles, yeah!

Deidara hugged his knees to his chest, looking at Sasori with fear in his eyes. Sasori smirked in amusement.

Sasori: Looks like somebody has a fear for needles, eh, brat?

Sasori cautiously walked towards Deidara, needle in hand, and Deidara got up, backing away slowly.

Sasori: Come on, this won't hurt, I promise.

Sasori tried to coax Deidara, but the gleam from the sun's reflection caught Deidara's eye and certainly didn't make him feel much better.

Deidara: No…I'm not going to let you take any of my blood.

Deidara shook his head violently, and Sasori frowned.

Sasori: Deidara, you are an S-ranked criminal, you can handle a jinchuuriki, but not one of these?

Sasori said calmly, spinning the needle in-between his finger-tips. Deidara pouted, sticking his tongue out childishly at his danna.

Deidara: I just don't like needles, ok, danna?

Sasori: You really are just a little brat, aren't you? What else are afraid of, spiders?

Deidara frowned angrily, furrowing his eyebrows.

Deidara: No, un. What about you? Don't you have anything you're afraid of? Or maybe a weakness or something, hmmm?

Sasori frowned this time, and Deidara grinned, happy to accomplish something (for once). Sasori may not have had anything he was afraid of, but yes, he did have a weakness, it was water, wood does not go good with water. Therefore, Sasori could not take showers, because too much water would cause his puppet body to simply be like Deidara's style of art, fleeting. So, he simply cleaned himself with a damp washcloth, as to not harm his wooden body. But of course, Sasori was not going to admit this, especially to his own inferior, who, (surprisingly) looked up to him as his danna. (AN: Now, I only say surprisingly because Sasori treated Deidara like crap, and yet he still likes him -_-)

Sasori: No, nothing, brat.

Deidara's frowned, but quickly came up with something else to bug his danna with and smirked in hidden triumph.

Deidara: Hey, danna, why do you wear eyeliner, yeah, I also heard you had some pretty messed up parental issues when you were younger, yeah.

Sasori frowned, damn, this brat was starting to get annoying, he looked at the needle still folded within his hand, and drew in a long breath.

Sasori: You know I need your blood for the antidote, brat.

Deidara: But, danna~, you didn't answer my question~.

Deidara whined, trying out the old puppy dog eyes trick on his danna, which was obviously not working. Sasori sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Deidara smirked more, and cracked his fingers carefully so only he could hear it.

Deidara: Well, danna, it doesn't matter anyway, you can be as emo as you like, because MY art is better, after all.

Sasori groaned, and Deidara shifted to push his weight all on one leg.

Sasori: Shut up, brat.

Deidara: Danna….I was wondering, have you done anything 'questionable' with Itachi?

That was it, Sasori snapped. In the blink of an eye, Sasori had grabbed Deidara by the neck, pinning him down onto the cold, hard ground. Deidara winced slightly feeling the needle sink into his arm, pulling out some of his drugged blood. Sasori then left, pulling the needle out of Deidara's sensitive flesh and walking away, not bothering to bandage the brat. Deidara whimpered, and ripped off some of his ninja pants to bandage the hole in his flesh left from the sharp needle piercing his skin. Deidara curled into a ball and fell asleep, burying his face into his arms.

~In the morning~

Deidara woke up to find himself lying next to where Sasori was working, he got up and hugged his danna in an attempt to warm himself up. He seemed to be glad just to be with his danna.

Sasori: so, you're finally up, eh, brat?

Sasori glanced at the blonde hugging him and smiled to himself.

Sasori: I cured you, you know, the afterlife and the fact we're in heaven doesn't mean nothing can harm us.

Deidara looked up at his danna, a smirk tugging at the side of his lips.

Deidara: Are you saying that you care about me, danna?

Sasori blushed lightly, 'wait…puppets don't blush, do they?' Sasori thought questionably to himself.

Sasori: No..

Sasori looked back to his work sternly. Deidara pouted at his danna, squeezing his waist.

Deidara: Oh come on danna, just admit it, you like me.

Sasori looked back at Deidara, prepared to glare at the childish Iwa-nin, but immediately looked back at his work when he saw the uke-ish puppy face that his Dei had on. Yes, **his **Dei, nobody else's, not even Tobi's. Deidara mentally smiled in victory, he got him, and he knew it, he knew that his danna couldn't resist that puppy face of his. His mental smile only grew when he brought closed fists up to his mouth, like paws. Sasori noticed this.

Sasori: Come on Dei, not the paws.

'Dei?' Deidara thought, and giggled unnoticeably to Sasori. He liked that new nickname for himself.

Deidara: Please, danna?

He said it in a cute voice, one that a child would have. Sasori's bottom lip trembled, oh how he wanted to glomp him right now. Deidara, determined to make him admit it, hopped into his Danna's lap, pulling him away from his work and repeated the previous line.

Deidara: Please, danna?

Sasori gulped, and gave in.

Sasori: Fine, brat, I care about you.

Deidara smiled in victory, throwing his fist up in the air.

Sasori: Now…

Deidara arm slowly dropped, his face twisting into confusion.

Sasori: Payback.

With that, Deidara was on the floor and Sasori was tickling the blonde furiously. Deidara laughed insanely, attempting to squirm out of Sasori's grasp, which immediately failed. Sasori tickled all over Deidara's torso, Deidara squirming and screeching with laughter the whole time. Sasori slowly came to a stop. The red-headed Suna-nin smiled and kissed Deidara on the forehead and walked out the door of his workshop in heaven, leaving the blonde-bomber gasping for air, his mind still fuzzy from all the tickling.


End file.
